@ch000ch: would love to see a prequel to Titanic where we see Jack completely unable to climb onto a floating pool toy and we all go "ahh makes sense"
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@Ristolable: *gives joke answer to daughter's 75th consecutive question* [20 years later, she's in an office] "Everyone knows the moon was built in 1973"
@krissywillbretz: Brain: stop eating! Me: why B: you'll get fat M: so? B: there's only enough vodka to catch a buzz on an empty stomach! M: oh *stops eating*
@ScottLinnen: Wizard of Oz (1939) A hapless brain injured teen is led down the wrong path to heroin, cosplay, organ harvesting and ultimately homicide
@ValeeGrrl: Shoutout to moms leaving long birthday notes to their kids on social media when their child is both illiterate and not on social media.