@Tups13: Would the Government cope in a zombie apocalypse? Vacant, horrible, disoriented people stumbling around without purpose. Plus the zombies.
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@bourgeoisalien: Saw 8 vasectomy billboards on my 4 hour road trip through Florida yesterday. It's like Florida knows what has to be done to Florida.
@huntigula: Your resume just says "falconer" "And?" Well, this is a bank *falcon starts break-dancing* "Not yet Tyler, wait until he offers us the job"
@NEthingButWork: Unpopular Star Wars theory: R2-D2 actually speaks English throughout the franchise, but all we hear is beeps because he won't stop cussing
@sip_at_home_mom: You know that kid on the field who's too busy spinning in circles to notice the ball coming at him? He's mine, and he's not even on a team.