@Tups13: Would the Government cope in a zombie apocalypse? Vacant, horrible, disoriented people stumbling around without purpose. Plus the zombies.
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@TheMainlandBlog: Maybe if I do the opposite and let my kids eat off the floor, more food would end up on the table.
@RamblingMachine: The worst part of having to kiss someone is when the coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.
@BBQJones28: Eye of the Tiger came on the radio so I jumped out my car and shadow boxed till the light turned green.
@Donnie_Fairburn: That prank where you roll the windows down as you go through a carwash so your friends get soaked isn't as funny when you do it by yourself