@bessbell: Would u watch a movie about a teenage boy who screams "I wish I was dead," but God hears "Deb," so he turns into his 50-yr old neighbor Deb?
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@seandunn76: "Oh boy, what a day of having sex with real women," I yell too loud while passing my microwave.
@LindaInDisguise: Listening to a global economy futurist. Pretty sure in 20 years Chinese parents will say "Clean your plate, people in the US are starving."
@noneofyours99: Texts son - to come and hand me my drink 5 feet away God he's lazy, took him ten minutes to reply
@WilliamAder: Me: This "Fear the Walking Dead" show is really creepy. Wife: This is the Video Music Awards.