@bessbell: Would u watch a movie about a teenage boy who screams "I wish I was dead," but God hears "Deb," so he turns into his 50-yr old neighbor Deb?
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@sickipediabot: Thousands of stoners give up smoking weed to avoid having any association with Justin Bieber. Cleverest. Government. Propaganda. Ever.
@prattprattpratt: If not for the cowardly actions of John Wilkes Booth, Abraham Lincoln would have turned 207 today.
@Cpin42: Realizing his terrible mistake, Judas bitterly hurled his half-eaten Klondike bar into the sea.
@Cpt_Burnout: REALITY SHOW IDEA: Put 10 tweeters in a house with only 1 phone charger and plenty of booze. BOOM.