@ieatanddrink: Would you flush a $20 bill down the toilet? Of course not. Yet you're doing it every time you flush 4 $5 bills down the toilet. I'll explain
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@NurseMurderer: My favorite part of eating alone at this trendy restaurant was when the waitress asked if I had cats because I had cat hair, "all over."
@Dschnoeb: A woman on the subway this morning said "did you know the government is closed? Is it a holiday or something?" So really, we deserve this.
@daddyville: Wife still out of town. I'm afraid if I order Dominos again they will call child services.