@ieatanddrink: Would you flush a $20 bill down the toilet? Of course not. Yet you're doing it every time you flush 4 $5 bills down the toilet. I'll explain
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@DirtMcTurd: [Hospital front desk] "Yeah my wife is here for weight loss surg-" *wife hits me* "Baby delivery, I mean she's here to deliver a baby"
@LosLos__: HR: And what would you say is a weakness of yours? Me: Lindt truffles. HR: Me: Dr. Pepper. HR: Me: Redheads....? *winks* HR: Get out.