@ieatanddrink: Would you flush a $20 bill down the toilet? Of course not. Yet you're doing it every time you flush 4 $5 bills down the toilet. I'll explain
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@TheHyyyype: NEW TEACHER: i'm mr. jones. before we get started, i want to make a few things clear, "baes" and "fams." i'm not your "squad" and this isn't "goals." this is english class, where we speak correctly. "sorry not sorry." STUDENT: mr jones TEACHER: yes? STUDENT: that was lit
@myonlymizztake: I work for the government which means I have to enter 2 passwords in order to print documents that are open to the public.
@SEvans_author: I'm not saying animals are better than ppl, I'm just saying you've never seen a puppy jack up the price of prescription medication
@Playing_Dad: Daughter: Daddy, why is the moon following us around? Me: I probably owe it money like everyone else on the planet