@TheTweetOfGod: Wouldn't that be a cool twist if World War 3 turned out to be a U.S.-Russia thing after all? "So retro!", you'd think as you were vaporized.
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@215potter: Someone just asked me to fax them my email address. Careful driving folks, these people walk amongst us...
@HatfieldAnne: You in the crosswalk: I stopped for you. I stopped. I'm stopped. I won’t unstop. Don’t look at me. Just walk. Go. For the love of God.
@leechee420: Listen google, it's 2015. I need you to figure out who I'm talking about when I type "that one guy in that movie I didn't like."
@GingerGander: Man texted: "I want you to be my little angle." I answered: "Do you want me to be obtuse, right, or acute?" Two days have passed, no reply.