@david_tull: Wow, according to the New York Times, just kidding, I have no idea what's going on.
@thenamesmikeG: The weirdest thing just happened. I had Cancer, then 15 people on Facebook were brave enough to change their statuses, & now I'm cured.
@DebraMuffin: Both my ends are business ends.
@Jeffwni: Snail 1: Are you male or female?
Snail 2: Yes
Snail 1: Me too!
[they kiss passionately]
@Coastiefish: This guy says he rides a bike 20 miles a day, and then runs 5 miles a day too.
Yo bro, you gotta get a car.
[a man is having his bloody infected foot amputated]