@david_tull: Wow, according to the New York Times, just kidding, I have no idea what's going on.
@Donna_McCoy: GPS: You're not really lost, you just want someone to talk to.
@koalaslament: I always live in constant fear that a bicep avi is gonna steal my lady and treat her right
@clindsaysway: Overheard, my parents, watching the World Cup:
Dad: Who are you routing for?
Mom: I'm routing for it to be over.
@COCAVELI: This generation sucks but does it swallow
@iwearaonesie: my wife's friend is so pissed i made fun of his lazy eye he's having a hard time even looking at me