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@Junk_Boat: Wow she actually noticed me!
Time to pick a different tree.
@Hadzilla: FUN PRANK: tweet "going hang gliding!!!!" then don't tweet again for 12 years
@NYC_Blonde: A pregnant girl from my high school made her unborn child a Facebook and added me as a friend. I AM FRIENDS WITH AN EMBRYO YOU GUYS.
@yoyoha: 8yo Me: *sneaks candy*
14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes*
18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol*
43yo Me: *sneaks candy*
Being an adult is stupid.
@WGladstone: Just realized Franz Kafka was a lawyer so he was Kafka, esq.
@TheCatWhisprer: Can't believe how divided we've become over an election. It's not like it's the color of a dress or something.