@Papa_Mex: Wow some neighbors really freak out when they wake up on a Sunday morning and find me making myself some pancakes in their kitchen
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@TheCiscoKidder: 5 year old: Where does wind come from, daddy? Me: It comes from people asking too many questions.
@GingerGander: There is a vast difference between an underdog and a loser, the first one has a real chance to win.
@jazmasta: [kids party] "This bouncy castle is twice the price of last year" Dad no "That's.." Please no dad "..Inflation for you" *kids start crying*
@Parentpains: Whenever I'm on twitter I always turn my phone upside down to try and collect spare change from your pockets.