@Papa_Mex: Wow some neighbors really freak out when they wake up on a Sunday morning and find me making myself some pancakes in their kitchen
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@lazerdoov: I can't prove God isn't real, but at the same time, I can't prove that my dog doesn't run a violent Asian street gang while I'm asleep.
@jonnysun: [2005, youtube's first pitch meeting] ok so basicaly its like if america's funniest home videos was on 24 hrs a day on evrey computer-- SOLD
@xLiserx: *First Date* Me: *Flirting* You have to promise not to fall in love with me. Him: There's cheese in your hair. And we haven't eaten yet.
@Tommytoughstuff: That awkward moment when you run into your old pizza guy and you're with your new much younger pizza guy.