@MelShutUp: Wow thank you so much for whistling at me, guy in Walmart. I've never felt more beautiful.
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@stephenjmolloy: "Ah, Mr Bond, I-" *closes laptop lid and pulls up trousers* "-wasn't expecting you."
@naughty_aditi: Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
@ItsMrWoody2U: Me: bless me father for I have sinned. Priest: how long since your last confession my son? Me: about 45 minutes ago...