@kumailn: "Wow there are a lot of non-brown people in Gaza." - anyone tuning into Ferguson coverage late
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@squirrel74wkgn: [news anchor] "Up next, can more sex lead to a healthier & happier-" *wife changes channel*
@sofarrsogud: NARRATOR: When camping be wary of savage bears trying to take your food *camera pans to a bear holding glass of wine with a wtf expression
@CodyJP9412: REPUBLICANS: I can't believe Trump won. DEMOCRATS: I can't believe Hillary lost. ME: I can't believe it's not butter!