@kumailn: "Wow there are a lot of non-brown people in Gaza." - anyone tuning into Ferguson coverage late
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@chuuew: ME: hi handsome, is this seat taken? BUS DRIVER: yes, but you could literally sit anywhere else
@caseytduncan: One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my kale?"
@sweet_pea707: Me: I'm feeling frisky yet stabby. Do you want to come over? Him:... Me: Good answer