@pixelatedboat: Wow, what a moving acceptance speech from John Lithgow:
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@TheCatWhisprer: Accidentally switched the baby formula with coconut milk and now my newborn is complaining that her lullabies are "too mainstream."
@TheTweetOfGod: Do not squander your short time on earth acquiring worldly possessions. Instead, try to get laid a lot.
@jonnysun: crime tip: secretley grease a cop's butt befor a car chase so when he slides acros the hood he'll slip off & keep on slidimg down the street