@3sunzzz: Wow, your teeth are white.
Thanks. I'm just curious, what color were you expecting?
@TheHappySquirrl: A salad is a bunch of things bribing you to eat lettuce.
@13spencer: [Justice League HQ]
Batman: Hahaha *changes his HBO GO® password and doesn't give the new one to The Flash*
@AnkCoupleTO: Me: *eating 3rd Twix of the day*
Her: You eat too much candy, you're going to make me a widow
Me: *orders 10 truckloads & cancels all plans*
@thejayroyal: A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
@RealCarrotFacts: Carrots cant float. But if you tie fishy wire to one and hang it in the air and look at it from far away, it almost look like its floating