@fusedude: Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight... Hoping to get a PS3 in return.

@jeffreyvanclea1: best sunscreen ever... Xbox 360

@TheMichaelRock: Boss: Why did you call off yesterday? Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.

@behindyourback: Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life because that field isn't hiring.

@HavocMantis: Whenever I experience happiness, I signal this to other humans by showing the sharpest part of my skeleton.