@jewfacekilla: "Wow you're one of the nicest old ladies I've ever met!"- me, loudly to a random old lady so my mom can hear
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@007Pepe_Rex: When you're in the voting booth this fall, remember that Abe Lincoln didn't slay all those vampires so that Trump could become President.
@buck4itt: Thanks for keeping your Instagram account private. I'd hate for those pictures of your lunch to fall into the wrong hands.
@_ElvishPresley_: [Horsemen tryouts] APOCALYPSE: I like u guys but I only need 4 *Death, War, Famine, Conquest & Steve look at each other* STEVE: dang it