@LizHackett: Wrap toilet paper around you like a wedding dress and slowly get naked as you tear pieces off to blow your nose all day.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WhiskeySoured: Never judge a book by its cover. Besides, you're on Twitter and don't even read books.
@iamspacegirl: Ranger Station BOSS: I have reports that you treat the wildlife inappropriately ME: No way *porcupine waddles by w/ kebabs on each quill*
@longwall26: If a deadly alligator appears in the instant after you tell your friends you'll see them later there is literally no way to warn them