@LizHackett: Wrap toilet paper around you like a wedding dress and slowly get naked as you tear pieces off to blow your nose all day.
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@DougStanhope: 16 year olds can vote in Scotland. That's ok because they've been drinking since they were 9 and understand disillusionment.
@thenatewolf: Me: goodnight kids Kids: goodnight dad Me: goodnight monster that eats children who are bad Wife: [through radio under the bed] GOODNIGHT
@Bownuggets: Goodnight moon, goodnight stars, goodnight perfectly normal Purple Rain album cover where Prince's eyes follow u across the room
@roostermustache: Me: yeah was bingo the name of the dog or the farmer Professor: i meant questions about the exa- holy shit