@LuvPug: Wrapping presents takes a LOT longer when your kid sneaks up behind you & cuts off your arm with an empty wrapping paper tube lightsaber.
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@Ristolable: Hi, I'm a college professor. Years ago I wrote a terrible book no one wanted. Anyway you have to buy it for 80 dollars
@Sassafrantz: [stops during sex] If you spin my fanny pack around, there's sandwiches in there. Help yourself.
@TheAlexNevil: Darth: You should not have come back, old man. Obi Wan: I DIDN'T. I was going to Alderaan. You caught our ship with a tractor beam. Idiot.