@meat_tornado_: write your suicide note in frosting on a cake so no one can eat it and people will still hate you even though you are dead
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@CulturedRuffian: I bet we'd have to say 'The steaks are pretty high' if a herd of cows ever got into a field of marijuana.
@SteelFontana: I'm always creeped out by the guy who seems to know the age of consent laws a little too well.
@Underchilde: I opened Twitter at a red light once, and when I looked up, a week had passed and I was sitting in police impound.
@ehchino: How do I know you're not a cop? "If I was a cop, how would I have this?" *shows police badge that just says 'Not a Cop' on it* Oh, okay good