@KentWGraham: Writers who become addicted to pseudonyms have to join Anonymous Anonymous.
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@_sleepysmile: He thought I wore a size two. A size two?! I started laughing so hard, I spit out the donut I was eating.
@MisterBombay: I once dated a woman named Kim who hated to be called Kimberly. Then I dated a woman named Chelsea who really hated to be called Kimberly
@luckyshirt: I don't eat animals because I object to how poorly they are treated and raised. Which is why I eat well-loved children.
@dragnut: Picture someone stepping down off a curb that they didn't realize was there. Now you can say you've seen me dance.