@NicestHippo: *writes "with my squad" under a picture of me and several cats"
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@RexHuppke: Just once I want to see a new parent post a baby photo on Facebook with the words: "Still not sure if we like it, tbh."
@heytherecore: Scientists hard at work to find out what the other 98% of 2% milk is: "Probably not bees," says one scientist. "Dear god what if it's bees?"
@GrabTheWEness: If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I've never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?