@MooseAllain: Writing a song about getting my front door lock replaced. There’s a lovely key change at the end.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheTweetOfGod: If a man strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown yourself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him.
@LaziestCanine: "911 what's your emergency" IM DYING "what happened" I GOT STABBED LIKE 3 TIMES "lol pics or didn't happen"
@kirthyiyer: The location of a pimple on your body is directly correlated to how much your body hates you.