@juliussharpe: Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don't want to look at you.
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@AndyAsAdjective: The new employee manual at work mislabeled "casual Friday" as "cannibal Friday" & sadly we lost poor Dorothy before anyone could stop Fred.
@MikeLonghelt: They told me to spread love wherever I go. Now everyone is complaining about being covered in Nutella. You can never win with some people.