@juliussharpe: Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don't want to look at you.
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@Carbosly: Protip: if your date is going to throw a drink at your face, at least open your mouth, because hey, free drink.
@aeharder: The efficient part about falling asleep on the toilet at work is that inevitably someone who had beans for lunch will come and wake you.
@dril: i can confirm that Somali pirates have intercepted my shipment of 20,000 glossy 8x10 headshots and are using them for vile purposes