@kevinseccia: Writing Tip: Learn the letters. YES all of them. Regardless of what you write they'll come in handy. Try experimenting w/ diff combinations.
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@VodkaThursday: I got an email from Olga. She thinks I'm sweet & "longs for finding a special person for serious relations". So there's always that.
@Book_Krazy: [arrives at sales meeting with giraffe I bought last month] "Ok, did everyone bring a graph tracking your activity this month?" ME: uh oh
@KateWhineHall: Pro tip: When quickly pulling into your garage to avoid your neighbor be sure your garage door is all the way up.
@theyearofelan: Instagram is down! I'm freaking out! What are you people eating? How are your pets? What the hell is happening???