@StarWarsProblms: Han: Leave us alone, you fat slug! Jabba: *speaks Huttese* C-3PO: The mighty Jabbs says your words are hurtful. He has a thyroid problem.

@beisswrandon: Maybe Jesus went black, and that's why he isn't coming back.

@aveuaskew: If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.

@theevilwriter: The local news says we can tell there's been a power failure with their new app. Call me old fashioned but the lack of lights tips me off.

@Kennedydp5: The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from