@DumbConfessions: Wrong hole.
No. Still the wrong hole.
Only ONE in each hole!
Ugh. Here! I'll show you.
-Helping my kid put on a swimsuit.
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@NoogsCorner: That awkward moment when Batman opens the condom compartment instead of the Batarang compartment in his utility belt.
@Awk0Tacoo: Every chick magazine ever: You're beautiful and are perfect just the way you are! How to loose ten pounds in ten days you fat, ugly cow.
@upsidedowntrash: [behind a customer in line at a coffee shop who is taking forever to decide what to order] me: hey. them: yeah? me: try the coffee.
@chris_coltrane: TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS EXPLAINED: 1) Rich people make money 2) It "trickles down" to offshore banks 3) Government closes libraries/hospitals
@dumbbeezie: Door: PULL. Me: Don't tell me what to do.
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