@dumbbeezie: Wrong officer, none of these drugs are being carried with the intent to distribute
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@Mom_Overboard: Stop being friends with whoever says you can't twerk to Led Zeppelin. You don't need that negativity in your life.
@cogentanalysis: Sorry, guy outside grocery store with a heavy bag and one arm in a sling, but I can't help you. Ted Bundy ruined that for everyone.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: My desires are... unconventional. (Hands you a phone and makes you call my boss and quit my job for me)