@carleysholl: Wtf has just happened😳
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@imence2: Gf:Do u love me? Me:Yes. Gf:Why do u love me? Me:You're the best. Gf:I'm the best at what? Me:Asking questions. Gf: Like what? Me:...
@TheTimmyToes: (car dealer) is the passenger seat also heated? "Aww for ur wife?" *imagines putting a fast food bag on warm seat after the drive-thru* yes
@BoozyMusic: My new cat, John Cena, wants me to remind y'all to never let your kids name your pets.