@carleysholl: Wtf has just happened😳
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@Kauaibride: so apparently there is no such thing as a valentine santa and i'm not sure whose lap i just sat on at the mall.
@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: I like a guy with good Southern values ME: [trying to impress her] I was raised by penguins
@iwearaonesie: me: I bet other husbands don't get put in timeout! wife: I bet they don't put their mother-in-law's phone number on a Craigslist ad either!