@StellaRtwot: Wtf neighbor I waved to you last week
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@david8hughes: [leans against bus stop as bus approaches & winks at girl waiting] I could easily afford to get on that if I wanted to.
@Celestinelea90: Her: You know when you're craving a cheeseburger but you order a salad instead... Me: (wiping ketchup off my face with my sleeve) No.
@BlACk__ThRoaT: When I'm home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
@panmidwest: THERAPIST: what's wrong? WIFE: he speaks in typos ME: EVERYTHING IS JUST FIND BRENDA! THERAPIST: ok maybe we should take 5 ME: food idea