@StellaRtwot: Wtf neighbor I waved to you last week
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@DevinSiebold: Justin Bieber breaks up with Selena Gomez... the same week Black Ops 2 comes out? Good call Justin.
@abbycohenwl: *pulls motorist over* COP: Are you high? MAN: If I were high would you look like a breathing tree? *one leaf silently falls from cop*
@AaronFullerton: Hey cell phone companies, I can't think of a more terrifying selling point than "Unlimited Talk."