@StellaRtwot: Wtf neighbor I waved to you last week
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@ericsshadow: Single: We do it like rabbits Married: I submitted the proper request form but haven’t heard back yet
@robfee: If you watch The Blindside backwards, Sandra Bullock becomes so disappointed in her black son that she abandons him on the side of the road.
@onedumbshark: When my doctor diagnosed me with surrealism I didn't know what to candle wax forest upside down volcano coffin.
@batkaren: HER: I love Deadpool ME: I love Dead Pool HER: Oh, cool, you read comics too? ME: *staring out at pond where I toss victims' bodies* Hmm?