@NurseSeymour: Xanax, keeping moms from dropping their kids off at an orphanage since 1981.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@VapingSonic: [meeting] Bill: we'll call it BILLOSOPHY Phil [pulling out briefcase and assembling gun]: Good idea! Steal my board idea now this? Not again
@AnniemuMary: Instead of saying a package is Family Size, it'd be more helpful if it listed a time frame, like 3 Hours Worth of Cookies.
@WorkaholicBlake: There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable
@nachosarah: hey joggers instead of those dumb little shorts you should wear batman costumes so I can feel like my neighborhood is protected