@candace_9871: Yah I ordered a large pizza but it's thin crust/ light cheese so basically it's a salad .
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@PaperWash: Your honor let the records indicate my client was upsexy Judge: what's upsexy? [lawyer whispers to defendant] quick, this is your chance
@OhNoSheTwitnt: On your first day as a new parent, walk up to your baby and cry louder than it to assert your dominance.
@Cravin4: Me: I don't think Grinding Dory is appropriate for the kids. Wife: I said FINDING DORY & we need to discuss your internet usage.