@NoChillPosts: YALL FEMALES ARE THE DEVIL
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@PaperWash: idea for haunted house: dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven't talked to since high school
@david8hughes: All you dads out there couldn't hold a candle to my dad. He's petrified of candles.
@jumpdashark: My tombstone will read: If You Don't Know Me By Now, You Will Never Ever Ever Know Me.