@bacon_gillepic: Y’all keep saying Columbus was a bad dude and he shouldn’t had a day, but y’all need to shut up because I like getting mattresses on sale
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@peterjames48: How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix? One? I say one.
@Cpin42: When I was a kid, I wanted to be Stephen Hawking. Now that he's dead, that feeling is even stronger
@thepaulahunt: "Is he going to be my new dad?" - My 20 y. o. son any time I speak to any man for any reason.
@CountMackula: I remember when people just wanted to date someone with personality..but noOoo, now everyone's gotta have multiple.