@notfaizzy: Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni... That folks, is what drugs do to you.
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@ZombieProblms: Oh, so when a survivor takes an arrow to the head, it's a "tragedy." But when a zombie get hit, it's a "good kill." Hypocrites.
@kolchak: Justin Bieber songs are much more enjoyable when you replace the word "girl" with "gerbil".
@MikeMcNeil_: wife: "HOW ARE WE OUT OF ICE AGAIN?" me: "DUNNO," I yell from the bathroom; the penguin and I can barely contain our laughter.
@heroinsdemise: What many don't know, "Riverdance" was invented while waiting in line at the ladies toilet.