@notfaizzy: Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni... That folks, is what drugs do to you.
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@Underchilde: Unless it’s that scary chick from The Ring, I really don’t care who is in the restroom with me.
@CelebrityChez: How long are you supposed to wait before you unpause the tv after you've told your wife that you're gay?
@SuadShamma: "The sum of the cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrot divided by the mayo. That is Cole's Law."