@J_Dazzle76: Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% battery left
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@envydatropic: Be nice to Canadians, American tweeters. We're going to need somewhere to go after this next election
@RowdyBowden: Raggedy Andy knew he was becoming a man when he noticed yarn where there wasn't yarn before.
@iAmDelFreaky: I've decided to shave off my eyebrows and draw them in. It's pretty cool, except when I have to redraw them to show somebody I'm angry.
@River_Niles: Interviewer 1: Describe yourself in one word Me: Hired Interviewer 2:[whispers] Holy shit can she do that??