@LetsGoDoyers: Love your friends, crop dust your enemies in a crowded elevator.

@JD_Barney: I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"

@SteveOHellNo: People who go to the store and buy the single roll of toilet paper must not have an optimistic view of their life expectancy.

@PaperWash: [stranded on Mars] me: [journal day 1] I have enough rations for 300 maybe 400 days me: [journal day 2] I am out of rations

@CarpentersCrack: Ron on Facebook says he hopes to be stuck on a dessert island, so naturally I commented "that sounds delicious".