@CamusOverEasy: The Blue Tooth in your ear tells me you are expecting an important call. At Walmart. At 8:00 AM. On Sunday. In the snack food aisle. Ma'am.

@sammyrhodes: I love donuts so much I want to marry them. But then I'm afraid I would eat all our donut hole children.

@Carmel_Coleman: Your car won't start? Have you tried getting out of it and then getting back into it again? That usually works for my computer.

@krismuscookie: The WHICHING hour: when I lay awake in the wee hours labouring over which comebacks I should have used in every argument I've ever had.

@iloveskyrim71: I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, Shark! Help! I just laughed, i knew that Shark wasn't going to help him.