@Token_Geezer: Yeah, but I thought the whole point of twitter was to be stalked.nnThe word 'follower' should be evidence of that
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@pinupteacher: [blind date] "Oh wow, I see you brought your Legos." *huge sigh* LEGO. It's called Lego.
@Freudianscript: When someone tells you to "get a Life," just take theirs. They'll be happy you took their advice, and you'll be happy they're dead.
@Jabba_Jabba_Jaw: "I'll shave whoever I want! I'll shave you, I'll shave her! I'll shave a goddamn baby if need be!" Sean Connery, boasting about his heroism
@HomeProbably: There are few things more awkward on a blind date than looking up from your phone to realise she's left. She obviously wasn't blind at all.