@KevinFarzad: Yeah, cigarettes make you cool but they also take years off your life. Those are just two benefits.
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@anagramps: Welcome to night club. I know it's dark, but that's kinda the poi-- *metal screeching* Dammit Steve! I told you knight club is downstairs!
@behindyourback: If you suddenly stand up and shout "IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE" you can walk out of work and not come back and no one will even ask about it.
@TheCatWhisprer: Giving somebody a greeting card is the most festive way to deposit $5 into their trashcan.