@heymonroe: Yeah, conservatives. I will marry a dog. I'll marry 12 dogs. I'm a dog mormon now.
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@TheRealDratch: Trying to get lunch w 4 yo in restaurant: "If you can't behave we're going to have to leave here." "But I want to leave here." Touché.
@THEPokerWife: After seeing your latest selfie ... And knowing what you look like in real life.... I'd like to hire you for your photoshopping abilities.