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@shut_uup: Yeah I pee in the shower, but not while I'm in it
@iliezabeth: REPORTER: how does it feel that ur tweet got like 0 favs?
ME: it made me laugh so I dont think its so bad
R: how does it feel 2 be wrong tho
@donni: Worst Excuses For Being Late
5) Too many dragons
4) Out of dragons
3) I'm not late, Steve is
2) Time is fake
1) Made a list of excuses
@iGreenMonk: I drink too much.
The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
@timdonakowski: "Crocodile after awhile." - Yoda
@RexHuppke: The emailer who threatened LA schools claims to be "a Muslim extremist."
That's like a student signing his report card "Timmy's Dad."