@Tmoney68: Yeah, I'm allergic to wheat, but I really like it so I eat it anyway. I'm a real gluten for punishment.
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@MyPolishFace: Me: We should go to the gym more often. Him: I hate it there. It's like a meat market. And I'm the expired meat.
@DaHess1: I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the shit out of each other because it's negative.
@RocketRankoon: I trick people that I know Spanish by quoting fragments of Spanish songs I know, la bamba.