@bombsydoll: Yeah, I've got that Sexy Librarian thing going on. Except I'm not sexy. Or a librarian. I would like you to keep it down though.
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@HomeProbably: My kid brother used to have a lazy eye and had to wear an eye patch. My whole body is lazy so I'm wearing my couch.
@DamienFahey: Just used the holiday card with your kid's face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room.
@michel_lesann: “Is there a genius in the house?! It’s an emergency!” *I start to get up from table* *wife discretely stops me* *I silently agree with wife*