@bombsydoll: Yeah, I've got that Sexy Librarian thing going on. Except I'm not sexy. Or a librarian. I would like you to keep it down though.
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@KKAlThani: "So tell me what you want, what you really, really want" - a hilarious waiter taking a Spice Girl's order
@LurkAtHomeMom: [Interview] Why do you want this job? Me: *opens briefcase* I don't. *pulls out Snickers* I just wanted to eat this without my kids around
@TheUnderfold: Wife: Sometimes women like bad boys. Me: Well I just replaced real garlic in this recipe with powdered garlic. Wife: *fans herself*
@LostFelicia: Him: You're on a diet. Why buy all this candy? Me: Because the alternative is called stealing.