@wittwitbarista: Yeah....seems legit. *dusts off hands* another customer satisfied.
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@AbrasiveGhost: [Me being beaten to death w/ can of frozen veggies] "Oh peas no!" [WHAP] "Why u bean like this?" [SMACK] "Don't u carrot all?" [CRACK]
@Sarcasticsapien: Friend: *singing along* But I'm a creep. I'm a widow. Me: Weirdo. Friend: Sorry, I'll stop. Me: No, he says...yeah okay, thanks.
@archerenemy: I still don't understand why people say marriage is so hard when I've successfully completed 2 of them...