@drumforge: yeah sex is cool but have you tried washing your dishes right after you use them so they never pile up in the sink???
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@eddiesteadyno: Thank you for clarifying that you'd bite me with your teeth, my mind was running wild with all the possible things you could bite me with.
@thatUPSdude: Her: We have rats! Me: We do? Her: Look something gnawed thru this package of cookies! Me: (wipes crumbs from my mouth) I'll buy traps.
@girlontapas: I started to go to yoga today and then I remembered that I could lie on the floor in my own house without driving anywhere.
@GrantTanaka: me: [tells joke] son: I don't get it me: well ur mom told me a joke once and it took me 9 months to get it