@Book_Krazy: Yeah sex is great, but have you ever rubbed your eyes for a really long time? O. M. G.
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@: Ikea meatballs pulled from shelves because they contain horse meat. Man, that's the last time I buy meatballs at a furniture store.
@cervixsmash: Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son? Son: I smoked weed, dad Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot
@Dawn_M_: I stepped on two raccoons today, but I'm just gonna play it cool and wear them as slippers for the rest of my life.