@Book_Krazy: Yeah sex is great, but have you ever rubbed your eyes for a really long time? O. M. G.
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@murrman5: [giving mother in law my famous salad dressing recipe over the phone] 1 part vinegar, then *bites lip so I don't laugh* 2 parts baking soda
@oxygenplug: "we're out of bread" "ciabatta be kidding!" [waiter takes out gun] "make another bread pun and ur toast, pal... shit" [i take out my gun]
@PaperWash: Our Ideal candidate: -Minimum 3,000 years exp. -Must have 8 PhD's -Speak Klingon 80 hrs a week $7.15 an hour Must be passionate about work!
@AlfKilledMyCat: Learning spanish is bloody hard. I wish the english had conquered more of the world, I'm suffering from their laziness