@ArrowsOfTheSun: Yeah the sun is hot, but have you ever stopped to think about its personality?
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@dafloydsta: [at a funeral] *approaches the weeping widow and embraces her* *whispers* "So you're single now, right?
@aveuaskew: The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Tell me about yourself" *flashback to when I used hand towels mom said are specifically for guests* I'm a risk taker
@DistractedMomma: Remember, you are faster and trickier than they are. - Me, to myself, when I'm fighting a kid at the playground for the last swing.