@ArrowsOfTheSun: Yeah the sun is hot, but have you ever stopped to think about its personality?
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@briancthayer: [rap battle] Opponent: *crushes it* Me: Oh, I... umm. I thought this was something else... *hastily hides plastic wrap behind back*
@ashleyaustrew: Dating: *prances around in underwear and his t-shirt* Marriage: *Unzips footed unicorn onesie* Do you think this mole is cancer?
@omgthatspunny: The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more bedroom furniture, but all I really wanted was one night stand.
@1evilidiot: You people that are getting sex regularly either need to keep that shit to yourselves or be more descriptive.