@JennyJohnsonHi5: "Yeah, well your dog isn't a rescue, your snacks are processed and everyone knows you're vaccinated" - how a kid talks shit in 2015
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@ClichedOut: [blind date] HER: I love classic rock. ME: (trying to impress) I've been to Stonehenge.
@WilliamRodgers: "I could stay awake just to hear you breathing...Watch you smile while you're sleeping..." Aerosmith = Romantic Me = Restraining Order
@prozdkp: Mitt Romney dissing Trump is like when an anime villain from the previous arc teams up to help stop the new billion times more evil villain
@tylerschmall: Great, iTunes terms and conditions has changed and my attorney is on vacation. Just perfect.