@JennyJohnsonHi5: "Yeah, well your dog isn't a rescue, your snacks are processed and everyone knows you're vaccinated" - how a kid talks shit in 2015
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@ericsshadow: [traffic stop] COP: where ya headed? ME: on my way home COP: *shining flashlight in my backseat* ME: look at me when I'm speaking to you
@jazmasta: [meeting to name the brownie] "How about baked chocolate cake?" "Nah" "Yummy choccy bake?" "No" Guy who named the orange: I have an idea...
@WindPushedGrass: 'Is this spicy?' 'Is this spicy?' 'Is this spicy?' 'Is this spicy?' 'Is this spicy?' 'Is this spicy?' - White people at Indian Buffets