@rachelle_mandik: year 39, month 3: woke up a sentient tangle of meat and calcium again
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@Scigglez: Using the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," only shows that you're unoriginal and know nothing about spinal cord injuries.
@gmossii: Every time I put on my striped socks I always have an ominous feeling that today is the day that a house will drop on me.
@Lisa_Laughs_: He shouldn't have died so young, but he also shouldn't have cut the grass at 7:30 am on a Sunday. (I'm writing my neighbors obituary)