@Moochava: Yearly reminder: unless you're over 60, you weren't promised flying cars. You were promised an oppressive cyberpunk dystopia. Here you go.
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@rolldiggity: Every Scooby-Doo mystery could be solved by asking, "1: Who is your most disgruntled employee?" and "2: Does he have access to a mask shop?"
@theshamingofjay: No thanks World Cup, if I wanted to watch a bunch of guys unsuccessfully try to score I'll just stay on Twitter.
@Donna_McCoy: I knew I'd pissed off Mother Nature when she sent a hurricane to wash my car and then left it on my roof.
@KevinFarzad: Yeah, cigarettes make you cool but they also take years off your life. Those are just two benefits.