@Moochava: Yearly reminder: unless you're over 60, you weren't promised flying cars. You were promised an oppressive cyberpunk dystopia. Here you go.
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@TheCatWhisprer: Can't believe how divided we've become over an election. It's not like it's the color of a dress or something.
@BrokenPalabras: Ancient people: turned grapes into wine, agave into tequila, and sugar cane into rum. Modern people: turn soy, rice, or almonds into milk.
@NicestHippo: [doctor gets job as 911 operator] "What's your emergency?" MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE "Hmm ok let's wait a few weeks and see how it is then"
@rachelle_mandik: most german shepherds don't know much german at all and are relieved when you try english