@BlindChow: Years ago I tried on my sister's bra, couldn't undo the clasp & was too embarrassed to ask for help. I'm still wearing it. I live in shame.
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@SamuelHLowe: -Why didn't you answer your home phone? -Because I'm walking the dog. Don't you trust me? -Of course I trust you! Put the dog on the phone.
@Death_Buddy: *walks outside* Its real quiet.. Almost too quiet. *looks around* *lights BBQ* *1000 Dads emerge from nowhere giving generic BBQ advice*
@markydoodoo: Hit the showers. Smack a sink. Verbally assault a bathtub. Make everyone at Home Depot uncomfortable.
@FussySaffa: When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?' is unwise, apparently.