@GrantTanaka: Yelled at some skinhead today & he was all like "chemotherapy, dude" & I was like, "whatever, racist" cause sometimes you gotta take a stand
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@Trudacious: You should ask her if she gained weight. That way she knows you're paying attention to her.
@AudreyPorne: if you're too polite to ask your date to leave just whisper "Mother might be getting cold in the pantry" while staring nervously at your kitchen.