@BrettDruck: Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work because the dog just goes "Cool, now we're both barking!"
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@seamussaid: dude told me he did a line with Emma Watson but I know he was lying - she's British, they call them "queues"
@ElizaBayne: You're not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU'RE RICH
@BuckyIsotope: I will be celebrating Columbus Day by setting sail for India, landing in Spain, and telling everyone who lives there to move out.
@jonnysun: [ouija board] "helo??" ＹＯＵＲ… ＳＰＩＲＩＴ… "shh its working" ＷＩＬＬ… ＡＰＰＥＡＲ… "omg" ＡＦＴＥＲ… ＴＨＩＳ… ＡＤ… "dude why didnt u pay for this ouija board??!"